I'm with you on pretty much all of this. I hate the idea of nerd as a protected class (see also "gamer"). I had a miserable time of it in middle school and high school but it boggles my mind that anyone would want to keep fighting those battles after college. Much less tell anyone that they're not pure of heart enough to be a nerd. (Though by the same token, I can't see the point of banging at the gates trying to establish some sort of "credibility" on the subject.) What a restrictive, limited way to see the world.

And elaborate rules for what jokes you can tell immediately become elaborate rules for when the humorless should be offended. I think intent counts for virtually everything. David Foster Wallace said something pretty spot on about this in one of the footnotes for his piece about John Ziegler:

"If it causes you real pain to hear or see something, and I make it a point to inflict that thing on you merely because I object to your reasons for finding it painful, then there's something wrong with my sense of proportion, or my recognition of your basic humanity, or both."

Which is clearly what Tosh was doing and not what Louis CK was doing.