In reply to Kroms.

There's absolutely no need to apologize for it. Even if you didn't have a different perspective on it than someone living in the US, you raise exactly the kinds of points that make it so frustrating for those of us that do.

It's not clear in the post, but capitalizing it as "Healing Our Divided Nation" was to suggest that it could be the slogan of a political campaign, instead of something that people actually believe. By which I mean: there's a big difference between what people say in public vs what they think or say in private. Journalists are obligated to be impartial and politicians expected to be civil, but we individuals don't have to. But at the same time, we shouldn't automatically assume that a public show of unity or civility is an implicit endorsement.

Coincidentally, Michelle Obama was just talking about this recently on her Instagram. She said that she and Barack made a point of making a smooth and peaceful transition for the Trumps, even though they found Trump contemptible, and even though he'd attacked them personally and viciously, because that peaceful transition is essential to democracy in the US. And I think she's right, just like Biden is right when he talks about unity and "your opponent is not your enemy" even though you KNOW he thinks Trump is a piece of shit. Keeping the country together is too important. We've seen what happens when you've got one party that acts like they can just do whatever the fuck they want without being concerned about anybody else, and it's just not sustainable.

A lot of people who'd call themselves "moderate" Republicans have spent the past 5 years insisting — and as far as I know, actually believing — that it doesn't matter that Trump such such contemptible, disgraceful, shameless shit in public, because the only thing that matter is policy and the economy. They probably STILL believe it, which is the only reason I can think of for anyone who isn't a multi-millionaire or a blatant bigot to have voted for him in 2020. But they've got it exactly reversed. The bulk of what a legitimate President does has to be deliberate and subject to approval, and barring acts of war and the like, can be undone. But degrading the public's trust in and respect for the Presidency and the government in general could take forever to undo.

Which I think explains Obama's friendship with Bush, and how it's different and I believe more acceptable than, say, Ellen DeGeneres's. I'll say right off the bat that I'm too ignorant to have an informed opinion about foreign policy, but I know just enough to believe that Bush was the second-worst President of my lifetime. (That's no doubt an America-centric opinion, since I'm sure there are many who'd say the Bush administration was more globally destructive, while Trump's spent 4 years mostly just fucking up the US). Still, whether it has any shred of validity or just a public-image machine in overdrive, there is the perception that he was one of the last Republicans to believe in civility and the dignity of office. In other words, that all of his war crimes could be blamed on Cheney et al, and he made difficult decisions believing they were the right thing to do.

To be clear: I don't believe that at all, I won't shed a tear when he's gone, and I won't excuse anyone trying to make it sound like his administration wasn't a reprehensible clusterfuck. BUT I can at least recognize the need for the philosophy "respect the office, even if you don't respect the man." The danger is "white-washing," as you say, but frankly I think the even bigger danger is in normalizing the "lock her up!" bullshit that filled Trump's campaign, and his most recent bullshit screaming fraud when he lost. Obviously, there's a wide spectrum between "come into office and immediately hold your predecessor on trial for war crimes," and "pose for friendly photo ops and pass each other cough drops," and I too think it's gross that Michelle Obama veers close to the far end of that. But I respect the mentality of "being a responsible President is an unfathomably complex job that requires you to make horrible decisions affecting millions of people, and not every decision will be a good one, and the peaceful stability of the government is more important than any one person."

But my high esteem for Michelle Obama has more to do with her being an excellent spokesman, role model, more accomplished than any other First Lady I can remember, and insisting on civility and decency while the political scene around her descended into the disgusting state it is now. And for the record, I strongly disagree with a ton of Barack Obama's decisions, most notably his early opposition to gay rights and much of his foreign policy, but he's still the best President we've had in my lifetime. And it's just that insistence on intelligence, calm, decency, and respect that I feel has a stronger effect overall than most individual decisions, because it ripples out into how we all treat each other. The kind of paranoia, mistrust, fear, and lack of respect that Trump engenders is just not sustainable for the country, even if his policies weren't bullshit.

I don't like that the Obama's take can be so easily interpreted as capitulation or normalizing contemptible behavior, but I think it's the mature stance to take. And I don't really need to form an opinion about them personally, since they're so much richer and more insulated than average Americans that thinking of them as regular people is absurd.