Tuesday Tune Two-Fer: The Very Best (Not Available In Some Areas)

Where my 80s kids at?!

The Karate Kid was trying hard to bring the High-T Bloodsports Underdog Story energy of Rocky III to a teen audience, right down to getting Bill Conti to do the score, and trying to get an anthem that hit as hard as “Eye of the Tiger.”

But even though it was co-written by Conti and the great Allee Willis, “You’re The Best” by Joe “Bean” Esposito could never live up.

Lowered expectations is built into the song. “You’re the best… around” is the kind of back-handed compliment that always tricks me into thinking people are being nice, when in fact they’re ruthlessly trashing me. I guess it rhymes and scans better than “I suppose you’ll do.” Or “We couldn’t find anybody else.”

Tina Turner didn’t mess with any such qualifications. She says you’re simply “The Best.” (Even if the video makes it look like she’s hyping up a horse, Catherine the Great style). Don’t accept any less.

You’re better than all the rest.

Better than anyone.

Anyone I’ve ever met ah dammit that ruins my entire premise.