Category: Personal
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Into the West
Other people may go in for the carols and egg nog and New Year’s Eve kiss and all that. My favorite part of the holidays is right now: when I get to complain about my flight home. To start with, a question: what could an infant less than a year old possibly gain from a…
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12 x 365 Resolution
One of the commenters at Lifehacker had a good idea I hadn’t heard before: instead of making a bunch of New Year’s Resolutions that you’ll either forget by the end of the year, or give up on because they all seem so daunting, make a series of New Month’s Resolutions. A month is usually a…
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Notes from the Battlefield
I made out like a bandit this Christmas — even now, the sheriff is standing next to his overturned patrol car at the county line, shaking his fist at me and slapping his good-natured but incompetent deputy over the head with his hat while calling him a “melon-farmer.” (I celebrated Christmas on TBS). Everyone else,…
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Ding dong ding dong
This never really occurred to me before, but Christmas has gotten so far removed from being a celebration of the birth of Christ, that the majority of the most cherished and traditional celebrations of Christmas are about how Christmas has stopped being about a celebration of the birth of Christ. A Christmas Carol: ghost story…
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Do you hear what I hear?
Spending time at my parents’ house means seeing hours and hours of CNN, and this week that means every-fifteen-minute updates on Virginia representative Virgil Goode’s discomfort over his fellow congressman’s religion. In particular, how tougher immigration policies are necessary to keep people like Keith Ellison from being born and raised in America and taking advantage…
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What Would David Caruso Do?
For the past week I’ve had Molly Shannon’s voice running through my head. A few years ago, she did a bit on Saturday Night Live making fun of Julianna Margulies for leaving “ER.” As far as I can remember, the whole bit was Shannon saying “You crazy! You crazy, pretty lady!” over and over again.…
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The Omens
First off, unrelated to everything else but I want to mention it: everybody check out the Child’s Play Charity. They’ve done a good job with it, they’ve added a bunch of recipients for this round, and it couldn’t be easier to donate. (Since it’s through Amazon, it’s actually kind of fun to donate, because you…
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Nightmare on I-5
Sitting in a hotel overlooking the Hollywood Hills writing a blog entry while watching “Dancing With the Stars.” It doesn’t get any better than this. Ever. Since I’ve apparently been condemned to Hell. I guess what the preachers kept saying about self-abuse being a carnal sin was true. There’s an orc-like woman who lurks in…
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Lack of variation on a theme
Before I give anybody the wrong impression: I still like theme parks. In general. I can see myself going to them, and enjoying them. But sometimes on a Monday night, you just want to go out for dinner. Without walking through clouds of fog and past giant globes and guys doing the robot to an…
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More fun with dream analysis
The neighbors’ Halloween party last night had an extended jam session on the bongos that lasted from about midnight to 2 or 3 AM. (The time change and my intense desire to go to sleep made it difficult to gauge). Once it was all over and replaced with the sounds of people in their early…
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Jetlag is the worst kind of lag
Do you know what’s the best thing to do for jetlag your first night back home? If you said, “sleep through the day, then stay up all night watching a marathon of ‘Doctor Who’ episodes on DVD,” you’re wrong! Don’t worry, though, because that was my answer at first, too. I’m definitely no stranger to…
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Wanderlust, or at least intense Wanderarousal
Thanks to the International Date Line (1-900-UN-SLUTZ), I have to live Tuesday, October 17th all over again. I feel like I should use the opportunity to correct any mistakes I made the first time around, but I can’t think of anything particularly boneheaded I did other-today. As an added bonus, I should be relatively jetlag-free,…