Deep penetration

I got a pleasant surprise when I logged in to delete today’s bunch of comment spam. There was a new incoming link to this blog!

It’s cool for two reasons: first, because I just got finished writing about my shallow epiphany about the wonders of the internets and hyperlinking and the glorious potential of sharing, aggregating, and re-interpreting information and creative works.

Second, because the incoming link comes from a site called “Milf Picture” (which I won’t link to, for obvious reasons), and it’s one of those spam blogs Wired has been warning us about so much lately. Apparently these sites have comically inefficient web search bots that just look for random phrases on other sites, and then automatically generate a blog entry linking back to the original. I’m still not sure exactly what the strategy is there; obviously it’s something to do with ads, but I don’t know if they’re just trying to bump up their Google rating, or how linking to random blogs helps with that.

In any case, this particular blog got pulled in by my headline “Mama don’t want to take her medicine.” And although I know that nobody actually reads spam blogs, I’m getting a real kick out of pretending that they do. And I love the idea of some frustrated guy going to a porn site and following a link and getting a dry-as-a-bone review of a boring Chinese action movie, complete with a big picture of a hairy Chow Yun Fat.

So I’m pledging a theme week here on the Spectre Collie: every post title this week will be meticulously and scientifically constructed so as to maximize the chances I get linked to more of these adult spam blogs. Where possible, I will include a photo hand-selected to confound anyone looking for porn. It’s the least I can do.