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Tonto! Jump on it!
Sometimes I’m forced to look into the very heart of my whiteness, and it’s astounding. It’s like walking down a long, white tunnel inexorably towards a blinding vanilla light. As I get closer I hear echoes of the Hellman’s Mayonnaise jingle and the white granny shouting “Where you at?” from cell phone commercials. Finally I…
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It’s not Warcraft, it’s me
I bought the World of Warcraft expansion pack, with about a billion other people, apparently, more out of obligation than anything else. I’ve kept my account open in the game for at least four months, without ever logging in, just to wait for the expansion pack, so I might as well buy it, right? And…
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And all on account of some dame
After 35 years and I don’t know how many film classes, I finally got around to seeing The Killers. What a completely bad-ass movie this is. It’s already one of my favorites, and I’ve already decided I’m probably never going to see it again, because nothing could be as cool as watching it all unfold…
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Breaking News: Presidential Hopeful is a SMOKER who went to SCHOOL!
My favorite news story in recent memory is the repeated inept attempts at a smear campaign against Barack Obama. I didn’t make a big deal about it, because I assumed everybody would get a good laugh and then move on. Apparently I was once again being naive, giving the state of American politics too much…
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And you don’t stop, you keep on eatin’ cars
I already confessed to how I broke up the Pixies and made the Pogues split. I don’t know how I do it; it just happens. I got into “Alias,” right before it went downhill and got cancelled. I waited until the last minute to start liking “Lost,” and then look what happened there. So it…
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Mama don’t wanna take her medicine
Somebody’s got to remind me not to go to the Kabuki for movies. For some reason I’ve got it stuck in my head that it’s perfect for dinner and a movie afterwards, and I always forget how they stuff you into cramped seats in a tiny 100-seat theater with a screen not much bigger than…
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She is one funny bumpy thing
I wasn’t a big fan of Jesus is Magic. In fact, it managed to do what I never would’ve thought possible: by the end of it, I was kind of sick of Sarah Silverman and wanted her to go away. If you want to read somebody who can write say what I’m thinking, Stephanie Zacharek’s…
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Like Chick Lit, If It Were Written By A Chubby Bearded Guy
Before I give anybody the wrong impression, I should point out that the past few months have been just great for me. Being under-employed suits me just fine, and for the first time in a very long time I feel like I’m on top of everything and just plain content. Still, it’s getting really hard…