Because I’m still most annoyed that V/H/S Halloween felt like a waste of time, I’ll respect yours and get right to the point: The last segment, “Home Haunt,” is very good, nails the right tone, and strikes the right balance between gory and fun. The second segment, “Ut Supra Sic Infra,” is clever and has a good punchline, but there’s not a whole lot to it. The rest are in the “don’t bother unless you’re bored” category, except for one called “Kidprint” that is pure garbage.
I’ve never seen any of the V/H/S found footage movies, but I’ve always been mildly curious about them. Horror anthologies are fantastic in concept, but in practice, they tend to have a very low hit rate. Maybe that’s a helpful reminder to all of us forced to live in the “AI era” that ideas aren’t worth anything without thoughtful execution of all the details bringing them about.
Even the “institutions” of horror anthology, like Creepshow and Tales from the Crypt, are hit-and-miss. And at least based on the marketing, V/H/S seemed to be aiming even lower, an anthology series for edgelords with a limited budget. But I’ve got the Shudder subscription anyway, and it’s Halloween week, so this seemed like the perfect place for me to start giving it a chance. Unfortunately, V/H/S Halloween didn’t do much to convince me otherwise.
A bit about the segments, in order from best to worst, using info borrowed from Wikipedia:
- “Home Haunt” is by Micheline Pitt-Norman and RH Norman, and I liked it a lot. It’s very much going for the vibe of EC horror comics and traditional Halloween haunted houses, but in an environment where they don’t have to leave much to the imagination. Makeup and effects legend Rick Baker, who does his own famously sophisticated home haunts in the LA area, plays a neighbor in this, and it’s more than just a self-aware cameo; it feels like an endorsement and seal of approval. I think this one gets the tone exactly right, it doesn’t skimp on the gore or “they went there” moments, and it’s worth fast-forwarding to this one and watching it on its own.
- “Ut Supra Sic Infra” by Paco Plaza and Alberto Marini is a Spanish-language entry set in Madrid, examining the aftermath of a bunch of 20-something partygoers sneaking into a famously haunted mansion one night. This one is pretty solid and well told, with a two-timelines-at-once format that makes the found footage concept work. (The idea of the police actually conducting an investigation like this is, of course, nonsense). It works mostly on vibes and anticipation, saving its most gruesome idea for a single scene, and ending on a clever punchline. The only downside of that restraint is that it feels like there’s not quite enough to it.
- “Diet Phantasma” is the wraparound story, about a sinister company testing a new soda made from ghosts. The first gag is entertainingly over-the-top and goofy, but then it’s just the same joke repeated over and over and over again.
- “Fun Size” is by Casper Kelly, who made the short Too Many Cooks and the feature Buddy, as well as a bunch of video projects for Adult Swim. In my opinion, this was the perfect example of something that probably seemed good in concept, but falls apart in the execution. It’s clearly trying to be surreal and darkly comedic, and everyone’s aware that they’re trying to play it broad and over-the-top, but nobody’s nailing it. It just feels like cheesy dialogue delivered in cheesy performances, all self-awareness with no substance.
- “Coochie Coochie Coo” is pretty much what I’d imagined when I first heard of V/H/S. Found footage with annoying characters getting into an extreme situation with the vibe of a neighborhood haunted house given a Halloween Horror Nights or Knott’s Scary Farm-level budget. You can tell they spent money on a couple of the costumes/makeup effects, but it just gets a shrug because you spend the whole time thinking “these insufferable young women deserve everything that’s going to happen to them.”
- “Kidprint” is trash. Just nothing redeemable about it at any level. And I feel the need to make sure that nobody gets the satisfaction of saying “ha-ha, get a load of this pearl-clutching Gen X-er who can’t handle horror that doesn’t pull any punches!” because it’s literally sophomoric. It overwhelmingly feels like a sophomore film student who’s convinced they’re bringing real world horror to a media landscape that demands all of the edges to be safely sanded away for public consumption, because they can’t handle the truth. But there’s absolutely no depth, it’s all amateurishly presented, and there’s an embarrassing lack of art to any of it. On top of all the clumsiness of it, the performances of the children are across the board better and more convincing than any of the adults. I’m really writing this post just to make a public declaration of what a complete failure this short was, at every conceivable level.
So my first exposure to the V/H/S definitely wasn’t a success. There’s one solid entry and another that’s pretty good, but the low points don’t feel as much like “this didn’t land for me, but you can’t win ’em all!” as “this series clearly has no quality control in place.”
It’s a shame, because I’m entirely on board with the concept, and anything that gives filmmakers the opportunity to get a wider audience, and established names the chance to make something in a freer and looser environment. I might give the series a couple more chances, because it has attracted some talent that I generally like. V/H/S/Beyond has a short by Kate Siegel and Mike Flanagan, and another by Justin Long. And V/H/S 99 has an entry from Vanessa Winter and Joseph Winter, who made one of my favorite horror movies, Deadstream, along with Melanie Stone, who was absolutely terrific in that movie.
I just won’t feel any obligation to sit through the parts that aren’t working, and instead feel free to skip to the parts I’m interested in.
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